So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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