i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
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