god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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