everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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