He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
