I wanna passion pit in your ass
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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