C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
