um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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