You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
