that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
