i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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