I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
