Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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