Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's the barista slut.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
