Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
