Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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