Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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