Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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