i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
