my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't turn off my feet"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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