How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
