Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now

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(913): View more from Kansas

U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation

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(407): View more from Florida

If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce

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(909): View more from California

It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.

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