come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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