She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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