The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Rumble strips road head = magical
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
