you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
