Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
