I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
