I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize