bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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