I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i think my cat just said my name.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
