My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
