I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
