Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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