sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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