This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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