Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize