Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
