is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
