Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize