Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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