I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
