Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
