oh god the rape fog is back!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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