Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize