What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
