At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize