you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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