we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
