I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
