You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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