some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize