shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
