I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
