I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
