She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
