What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
