So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
