We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
