She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
