Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
