I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
