im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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