saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize