Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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