I wish I only lived at night.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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