Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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