Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
