that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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