he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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