every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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